Weirdly Shaped and Well Photographed

… a blog about clothing for curves, bras for giant boobs (and tiny backs!), and escaping the scourge of the dreaded BoobLoaf and ButtChest.

Dirty Flirty Thirty

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Hello, Gentle Readers!  How have you all been?  I have been away oh so long.  It has been an eventful few months.  Almost too much to ramble on about in a blog post, really, but I’ll try to give a quick rundown…

Since I last posted, I have:

1) Turned 30!  *throws confetti in the air*

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I am sooooo psyched about this.
Oh wait no.

2) Lost my job!  *throws more confetti*

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This is thrilling! Just thrilling I tell you!

3) In different ways, lost both men I was dating! 

*THROWS ALL THE CONFETTI AND THEN PUTS ON MOST INSANE SMILE BEFORE COLLAPSING IN A HEAP OF WHYYYY ON THE FLOOR*

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Ta-da.

Actually, that was all in the last few weeks.  Yeah.  Tell me about it.

Not gonna lie, I was a mess for a bit.  I actually took a picture of myself mid-sob-fest because even while experiencing it, the level of WOE IS ME misery I had achieved kind of cracked me up.  I was going to post it here, but it is seriously the ugliest picture that has ever been taken and I don’t want you all to run away and never read again.  Blorgh.  Instead, here is a picture of Milo, who is the cutest dog in existence.

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Odds that this will be the most popular picture in the post: 100%.

Anyway, I’m a tough broad, and once I ran out of Nutella I realized I couldn’t continue to wallow as effectively as I had been and might as well get on with things.  So!  Friends and I made up an alternate ending to one of the lad’s departures involving him being called to duty by Captain America and not being able to say goodbye for fear of putting me in danger.  Because my friends are the most amazing people on the planet, Alternate Ending Man actually did give me a bit of closure:

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Alternate Ending Man is sooooo romantic!
I’LL NEVER LET GO, A.E.M!
I’LL NEVER LET GO!!!!
My heart will go on, as it were.

And then I just set about getting back to business.  The apartment is getting cleaner and more organized.  Scrumptious foods have been cooked and devoured.  Exercise has been resumed, much to the chagrin of my out-of-shape muscles.  Social outings have been undertaken, dances have been danced, trips have been planned, and… Yeah.  Gold star for me!  I am awesome!  Or something like that.

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I am literally throwing confetti in the air here, shortly after losing my job…
But gaining a pie!!!!
It all evens out, right? Balance is on the plus side?

Anyway, I’m in the process of preparing a bunch of entries that were in the works to some degree before all this went down, and in the meantime… Here’s some of the fun stuff I have been up to!

I took a birthday trip to LA to meet up with The Contrary Kiwi and Boosaurus for an epic Disneyland adventure!  But first I spent a day in LA, mostly being irritated with its public transportation system.

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Ahhh, the beautiful scenic City of Angels!

I had planned on going to the Pinup Girl Clothing Boutique, Unique Vintage, and What Katie Did, but instead I spent many, many hours on public transportation, wandering around cursing the humidity and failing to find a taxi.  At one point I gave up for a while and just sat on the ground.

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I was digging the vintage suitcase a lot more till I had to tromp uphill with it for god knows how long.

I did finally make it to PUG, many many hours later than planned, and stayed till closing trying on All The Dresses!  But… I’m making that a separate entry, so you’ll just have to check back for those pictures.  Nyah ha.

You DO get to see pictures of Disneyland, though!  WOO HOO!

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This is what I look like when I first get to Disneyland. Every time.

Before I go any further, I just want to take a moment to give thanks for the internet.  Boosaurus (and her DH) and Contrary Kiwi are among the loveliest, most caring and thoughtful, wonderful people I have ever met, and were it not for blogging I would not know them at all.  The blogging community has been so good to me, and through some of these rough times these darling women and several more have been there for me just as much or more than most of my “real life” friends have.  It’s kind of amazing.  So yeah.  Gratefulness.

Anyway!  DISNEYLAND TIME WOO!

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LOOK AT ALL THE FUN-TIMES-HAVING WE ARE DOING!

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I found a car that matched my dress! And Contrary Kiwi and I fought some bad guys!
And then I hugged Goofy! And said “good day” to Mary Poppins!

We stayed for three days, and I attempted to wear cute dresses for all of them.  Due to some adverse circumstances, I was sans any of the dresses I had originally planned to wear and also sans petticoat, but I managed alright I suppose.  I forgot to take an outfit picture on one of the days, but you can see that one in the picture with Mary Poppins, above, or kind of in the right half of the picture below, which is awful but included because I just love that cardigan THAT MUCH.  Sorry.

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On the left – dress from the 80’s, belt from the 60’s.
On the right – a study in contrasts: sweetest little cardigan, soulless black eyes of death.

This one was my favorite so it gets a picture all by itself (sorry about the shoes… One needs to be comfortable at Disneyland):

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Winds in the east, mist coming in.
Like somethin’ is brewin’ and bout to begin.
Can’t put me finger on what lies in store,
But I fear what’s to happen all happened before.*

Oh, and one last thing… I am SO THE BEST AT RIDE PICTURES.  Take note:

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So the best, right? Everyone else did an awesome job, too, including the two dudes in front of us in the upper left picture. Lovin’ it.

I mean, come on guys.  These are practically masterpieces.

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So yes.  Disneyland was the best, as it always is.  I want to live there.  It is where I belong.

Sadly, I can not live at Disneyland, so I returned to Vegas and things have been much as I outlined above.  I’m getting used to being 30, sort of, and trying to just generally be awesome.  I’ve been performing whenever I can, getting affairs in order, and even trying out some new looks that I wish I had not wasted three decades thinking didn’t suit me: high-waisted bottoms, button-ups and pussy bows, and skirts with blouses.  Digging it all so far.

30Outfits1Obviously these were just taken on the fly, and I will need to take proper photos and do posts sometime in the future.  I’m happy, though, that 30 doesn’t seem to look so old on me after all, and that I can share all this with you, Gentle Readers, after such a long time away.  I’ve been trying to keep up on social media in the meantime, and I hope some of you have been with me (if you follow me on Instagram, you will have seen some of these pictures before, and if you don’t… would you like to?  I’m @weirdlyshaped).  Everything is coming back together and I look forward to getting the real meaty stuff going again shortly.  I missed you!  No seriously, I really missed you guys.  It was super sad.  NEVER AGAIN.  But till next time, think of me fondly, my dears?

*Vying for caption status with that delightful bit of singing by Bert in Mary Poppins was the following, from Mrs. Banks: “We’re clearly soldiers in petticoats, and dauntless crusaders for women’s a-votes! Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid.”  I’m not sure I adore them individually either at the moment…  But ask me again in a week or two.