I’m a nice girl.  Really.  I like hugs and laughing and helping people and baby animals and all those sorts of things.  But sometimes I want to look a little less nice.  I want to look like I could get a man to buy me diamonds and then run off to Paris on a whim without even saying goodbye.  I would never do that, of course – I would bring him with me to Paris :)  – but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a little femme fatale in my wardrobe now and again.  So what’s a weirdly shaped girl to do when she wants to become a devastaing and dangerous woman of mystery?  She needs to don a Little Black Dress.  

There are several dresses in this category that I’d really like to try which are made specifically for us extremely curvy ladies – for example, check out the Mała dress by Urkye (although I think I might prefer the attention-getting red color, should I ever get my hands on one) or the Evening Maxi in Noir from DD Atelier.  But there was a time when I didn’t know that specialty shops like that existed.  This also happened to be a time when I was *ahem* a bit short on funds.  I still needed a dress, though, so off I went to see what the mainstream fashion industry could do for me.  The results were (generally) surprisingly good.

H&M is very hit and miss for me.  Some of their clothes leave me genuinely puzzled; I remember once seeing something on a rack and being unable to even figure out what part of the body it was meant to clothe.  But every once in a while I find something fabulous, and the prices are low enough that I can almost always indulge when I really want to.  So when I saw the dress in this post, I knew I was in luck.  

I am a firm believer in ruching being one of the best tools in the hourglass figure’s arsenal.  For many years, I thought that the extra fabric of ruching would just make me look heavier (same with cowl necks, which I will cover sometime soon), but a friend convinced me to try it one day and I’ve never looked back.  Stretchy, close-fitting fabrics show off our fabulous curves, and the textured folds of a ruched garment gently obscure any bits that we may not want highlighted quite so closely.   I am very much for loving one’s body and think that bodies of all shapes and sizes are fabulous, but I still struggle with issues of self images sometimes, and I don’t always feel comfortable with every detail of my figure.  Ruching to the rescue!  It’s still me, but, you know, with a slightly fuzzier outline.  

I did run into one problem common to busty ladies shopping in the mainstream market; as is glaringly obvious from the Dotty Spot bra peeking out from behind my hair in the pictures below, the fabric (or lack thereof) at the armholes of sleeveless dresses can leave us a little exposed.  Our delightful Orbs of Wonder pull the dress forward, displaying what can in some cases be an enormous amount of sideboob.  As I don’t currently have a plain black bra that fits me, this is rather glaringly on display here.  I’ve left them unretouched as a gentle reminder that we should generally check for this before leaving the store.  I’m a pretty brazen broad, so as long as I can wear a matching bra (ie not this one), this doesn’t bother me, but the more modest among us might want to either do a careful check before buying or prepare to have a shrug, bolero jacket, or shawl handy to cover it up.

*sidenote: I originally typed “shrub” instead of “shrug,” and while I will say that it may not hide sideboob nearly as well, I find the idea of using a shrub as a distraction hilarious and would love to see pictures of readers trying this technique somehow.  If you send me a picture of yourself doing this, it will most definitely be posted on the brog.  

Other than the unintentional bust windows, this dress has just about everything I look for in a femme fatale outfit.  The length shows off my legs and enlongates my form without causing me to fear becoming a one-woman show if I need to pick up a dropped napkin, and the fabric has just a bit of a sheen to catch the eye while remaining subtle enough that the eye doesn’t know it’s under influence.  It’s tight enough to skim my curves, but has enough give to not be constricting.  And what can I say?  It’s sexy as hell. 

So what do you think, gentle readers?  Are you a fan of ruching?  What are your thoughts on sideboob?  Do you have a dress that makes you feel unstoppable?  If not, consider getting one, and use all the tools in your arsenal to highlight the things you love about yourself.   As Mae West said, “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.”

Well, that’s it for this one.  There will be a proper review soon, I promise.  And until then… 

Goodnight, gentle readers.  I look forward to seeing more of you soon.

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Photography by Geoff Carter.

Hair and Makeup by Elaine Thomas.

Quotes by Mae West.

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EDIT!
For an example of an insanely, stunningly, stupidly gorgeous ruched dress on an hourglass figure, please visit this post on wedding dresses for busty hourglass figures in yet another fabulous blog, Muscular Hourglass.  I consider MH to be one of the bloggers who is closest in shape to myself, so if you are similarly shaped (or, you know, just want to read a great blog), I suggest you subscribe.